happiness is a form of courage


It's been 20 days since my last post here on SingleBubblePop and that's because I do my best to blog my true self here. Since it's inception in 2007, this blog has been a reflection of my life in every aspect. Those of you that have been following since the beginning have witness me go from a student, to traveling abroad, relocating, starting my career, and becoming a business owner. I've shared my family and friends with you and my love as well, right along with all the beautiful things that inspire me. I feel connected to every person who takes the time to read and for that reason I always try to give you a real reflection of me. This month has been a roller coaster like none other I've ever experienced. While not feeling grounded, I lost my voice for a moment, and didn't feel comfortable writing.

At the beginning of the month, the man who I've spent the last 5 years loving and growing with decided that we are no longer. I had no idea this was coming. Talk about having the rug pulled from under... It took me about a week to literally get it together. I'm not a person who has breakdowns; instead I experience kind of a slow-burn intense anxiety that permeates every moment & breath. I won't get into the logistics that this ending affects, but it changes a lot. Some may say everything. But once I could wrap my head around the idea that the life I envisioned for myself had come to a screeching halt, I picked myself up and chose happiness.

I spent as much time as I could with my amazing friends. Partook in a little retail therapy, because I am fortunate enough to be able to. I got back to work, slowly but surely, on my awesome client projects.

And then a amazing thing happened. The blessings started rolling in. People that I hadn't talked to in months, who had no clue I'd been down started to call. New unsolicited clients. Opportunities I only dreamed for myself came to fruition! I've been oscillating from feeling sadness & uncertainty to joy & hopefulness for the last 20 days.

The thing is, I choose to be happy no matter what. Even when I'm hurt. Life is way too short and I'm overwhelmingly blessed. It's taking me a few weeks to get back the courage to be happy but these few weeks will be a drop in the bucket to my long life. I still have a lot of decisions to make about where I will go & what I will do next, but I'm taking my time to figure it all out. I feel like God is stirring things up in my life right now in preparation for something big.

Thank you so much for bearing with me, and I'll be back to my regular blogging schedule by next week! I have some really great things going on that I can't wait to share with you. I'm also going to update the look of the blog so pardon any mess you may see in the process.

Love,

Niki

Creative spirit living & loving in Raleigh, NC.